We Can Only Change Ourselves

This is my response to a blog by a fellow weight loss and health seeker  (http://krisgetshealthy.com/2012/02/05/sunday-struggle/) who struggles with caring about a loved one that is not ready to embrace needed change in their lives.

I know how hard it is to accept that we cannot change another person, even those we love.  As a daughter, a sister, and a parent, I have experienced this from every perspective.  Between my natural fixer personality combined with religious ideology that tends to, in part, equate what we do with righteousness, I struggled for many years into my adulthood thinking that it was my job to fix or help other people.  Over time and by the grace of God, I have come to the realization that I do not have the power of change in another person's life.  Even God, himself, gives us the freewill to choose change or to reject change.   Some may think that if God really loves us, he will force us to change, but in a real relationship choice must exist, otherwise, it is a owner/slave relationship that ultimately reduces one party to an object without humanity.

I take a lot of deep breaths when I find myself in close proximity with situations or people that I cannot change or even help.    Amazingly, sometimes people will ask for your help and then reject the help that you can offer them.  Their rejection is proof that they are still unwilling to do the work of change.  Until they arrive at a place of willingness in their own mind and heart no amount of effort on your or my part will make any difference.

You may have heard that you shouldn't  "throw your pearls before swine."  Some might think that this is insult to pigs, but it is just trying to make the point that pigs could care less about pearls.  Until a person cares about something for themselves, they may "trample the [idea] underfoot, and turn and tear [us] to pieces."  You may not have experienced that severe of a response; unfortunately, I have.  I have learned my lessons and am stronger, smarter and more at peace than I was before.

I have, reluctantly at times, had to leave people that I love to God and to the choices that they are making.    There is a place of peace, and without guilt, that exists where we can fully accept the reality that ultimately we cannot change anyone but ourselves. 

Peace and blessings to you on your journey,

Charlene

How Much Water Should I Drink To Lose Weight?

Love hearing from Avril Carpenter who lives in New Zealand.  I, vicariously, enjoy the world through people like her. She posted an article on her web site this week that I enjoyed reading.

http://avrilcarpenter.com/how-much-water-should-i-drink-to-lose-weight

Here is my response to her article:

I agree wholeheartedly with your statement that, "You’ve got to listen to what your body tells you."  We are taught to eat and drink this and that at this time and that time without any regard for our individual unique body and system.  There are general rules that are always true for everyone such as "the body needs nutrition", but we are out of touch with listening to our true thirst or hunger pains for a signal that it is time to drink or eat.

For me, I have found that my weight loss efforts do need more water intake.  Maybe this is because my "system" is sluggish.  I can go for hours and hours without going to the bathroom, whereas, my normal weight husband goes at least once an hour.  This has to mean something.  But I have also noticed that sometimes I think I become water logged - the weight is stuck - and if I lay off the water for half a day, my body readjusts, and I suddenly drop an extra pound of real weight.  My observations are personal and unscientific, but they are true for me.

I, also, believe that just because I seem to need more water most of the time, that this is not true for everyone.  I believe the same thing about vitamin supplements - not everyone may need them, but I do.

Word for the day:  LISTEN

Breakfast is a Priority Jan 4, 2012

I used to not eat until 1 or 2 o'clock, but have made breakfast of some sort a priority for the past 3 years.  My go to breakfast is usually a full cup of some sort of high fiber cereal.  Fiber One cereals are a good choice with 9-11 gram of fiber per serving.  Sometimes I mix in some Sam's Extra Raisin Bran to save money, but the fiber content is a little lower.  I really like FiberPlus Caramel Pecan Crunch, too.  I always use plain soy milk in my cereal.  I really like soy milk better; it has fewer calories, so it is a win-win for me.

When I am on a tighter schedule, I try to keep some high fiber bars (Fiber One or Kellogg's FiberPlus) that I can eat in the car.  Some mornings I don't want to eat anything, but I force myself to eat at least a half of a fiber bar, because I do believe that it jumpstarts my metabolism for the day, and it is the right thing to do. 

People ask me what "program" I am on, but as a lot of you know you have to make personal lifestyle changes that are not temporary to have a lasting effect on your life, health, and weight.  Eating more fiber and breakfast are two of my "lifestyle" changes that I have made to help me lose 40 pounds over 3 years.  I am slow, but sure!

What Does Setting Realistic Exercise Goals Really Mean?

A couple of weeks ago, I set the goal of exercising for 500 minutes per week, which translates into 8.33 hours per week.  By the end of that week, I adjusted that goal to 420 minutes per week, which translates into 7 hours per week.   Twelve days in I knew I was going to have to adjust again.

On day 16 I knew if I kept a goal that I consistently could not reach I would hate myself and probably eat to punish myself.  Knowledge is power.

I have now reset my goal to exercising an "average" of 300 minutes per week which translates into 5 hours per week or an average of 42.86 minutes per day.  

The key word is "average."  I can do less than or more than 300 on any given week, and still meet my goal.  THIS GOAL IS DOABLE!!!

I am just excited that I have matured enough to see the forest for the trees.  Instead of complete abandonment of the exercise goal, I have regrouped, reassessed, and tweaked the plan.  I am so smart!

You know why I just said that, don't you?  Because that is what I would have said (You are SO smart!) to someone else who had accomplished a comparable task.  I am very good at patting other people on the back, but not so good at treating myself with the same amount of love and respect.

I am on track with my new goal.  If I have a bad couple of days, I can give myself a break.  The system has a built-in fail safe.  I was up late studying for a quiz the other night and legitimately needed to sleep an extra 30 minutes the next morning, but I can make up that time over the next week or two.  I am so excited!

Word of the day:  DOABLE!

Thank God for Music!!

I read some article somewhere where the author asserted that we shouldn't run or exercise to music, but should use the time to get in touch with our bodies!  Good for him, but PHOOEY on his idea, at least, for me.  I like getting in touch with my body with music playing that has a really good beat going!

When I am in my "den" gym, I use the Pandora function available on my Tivo.  Some days it is Thousand Foot Crutch, Hawk Nelson, Fireflight, Pillar, Linkin Park, and Disciple.  Other days it is U2, Simple Minds, and Coldplay.

Today, it was Michael Jackson, Earth Wind and Fire, KC & the Sunshine Band, Lipps, Inc., and Wild Cherry.

Disco music will never go away.  I am convinced it will and must play an important role in the future health of our nation!

Check out Pandora. You can used your computer to set up a favorite list of music to exercise to.

Word for the Day:  DISCO!

Open letter to me and to you

Hey, sorry you had a bummer let down with your weight loss at the beginning of the month.  I tend to retain water when I am traveling or outdoors in the heat too much and for me that appears to make my body think it has to hold on to stuff.  Weathering those periods of time is like psychological warfare.  I am not walking outside until the heat lets up here in Tennessee.  I need a psychological break from the negative affects of the heat on my weight.  Went to the mall yesterday to walk. A tweet from thinnerisms today was good for me, so I'll share:   Successful #weightloss requires persistence. We only get better at something by REPEATED EFFORT, and PICKING OURSELVES UP after we stumble.  But sometimes the stumble is not ours per se, but the reaction we allow ourselves to have to the stalemate on the scale.  On a good day, I choose to stay on course, knowing that the scale is just playing mind games with me that I am determined to win.  I sometimes have to wait 3 or 4 days (or longer) to see the scale give up and let go of the number.

WORD OF THE DAY:  WARFARE