I WANT TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE!

Ginny Graves authored an article at prevention.com

 The Surprising Health Benefits of Sadness

Here is an excerpt:

"Antidepressants have become the most commonly prescribed drugs in America for adults.... At any given moment, about 10% of the adult population is taking them, double the percentage just 10 years ago, and about twice as many of them are women as men."

Interesting to me is that we don't always make the connection to statistics that say that almost 7 out of every 10 Americans are overweight or obese.  Many of the 68% overweight should be added to the 10% antidepressant takers to show a true number of people who are "medicated".

New study: 68 percent of Americans are now overweight or obese

My drug of choice has been food.  I eat to celebrate, to escape stress, to avoid what's really bothering me, to punish myself for not being able to control things outside my control, to punish myself for achieving things that I am not sure I deserve . . . you name it I can find an excuse to indulge in the endorphin increasing practice of eating to excess.

I am more aware than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go.  I am now relosing 20 of 40 pounds that I lost over the last 2 years, because I was blind-sided by some life circumstances and variables that threw me for a loop.  I felt that these circumstances were out of my control, and they were, but my response was to eat, to medicate.  Did it help?  Heck, no!  My way of dealing just hurt me.  I can look back now and see that I thought I deserved to be punished for not knowing how to deal better.  But I want to be more present in the present.  I don't like this hindsight crap.

Catherine L. Taylor@thinnerisms sent out a tweet today that is connected to some of this psychological messiness I find myself in from time to time.  She said,  "Are you a perfectionist or fault finder? These traits can leave you chronically disappointed that life can never live up to your standards"  and "Perfectionists have a hard time with #weightloss and changing habits. They expect too much of themselves in too litttle of time. #diet.

I had a principal when I was in 7th grade, say to me, "You are a perfectionist aren't you?"  At the time I didn't quite understand it.  As time went on I began to think, "I can't be a perfectionist, because nothing in my life is perfect."  After a few more decades, I began to realize that I was the definition of a perfectionist, because I never felt that anything was ever perfect enough.  I have moved away from wanting everything to be perfect, but I haven't yet escaped all the emotional garbage that came with wanting everything to be perfect.  I still feel guilty because things are imperfect - I can't keep my house clean enough, I don't make enough money, I don't know all the answers, I make typos and mistakes.  I feel anger, impatience, envy . . . blah blah blah.

But back to The Surprising Health Benefits of Sadness.  I love this next excerpt:

"a provocative theory newly gaining traction that questions whether depression is really a disorder at all. According to this theory, the pain and sadness we feel when we're blue has a purpose in our lives as a clarifying, healing force. "Depression may be nature's way of telling you to stop and focus on what's troubling you, so you can move past it and get on with your life," says Paul Andrews, PhD, an evolutionary biologist at Virginia Commonwealth University. He, along with his colleague J. Anderson Thomson, MD, a staff psychiatrist at the Student Health Services and Institute of Law and Psychiatry at the University of Virginia, have become controversial proponents of an idea that actually dates back to Aristotle, that depression may lead to better mental health."

I don't want to take "meds" or my drug of choice (food) for feeling sad or overwelmed or out of control.  I want to focus on what's really bothering me (only as long as it takes) and then move past it. 
I want to get on with my life!

Words of the day: Live in the Present and then move Forward!!

Open letter to me and to you

Hey, sorry you had a bummer let down with your weight loss at the beginning of the month.  I tend to retain water when I am traveling or outdoors in the heat too much and for me that appears to make my body think it has to hold on to stuff.  Weathering those periods of time is like psychological warfare.  I am not walking outside until the heat lets up here in Tennessee.  I need a psychological break from the negative affects of the heat on my weight.  Went to the mall yesterday to walk. A tweet from thinnerisms today was good for me, so I'll share:   Successful #weightloss requires persistence. We only get better at something by REPEATED EFFORT, and PICKING OURSELVES UP after we stumble.  But sometimes the stumble is not ours per se, but the reaction we allow ourselves to have to the stalemate on the scale.  On a good day, I choose to stay on course, knowing that the scale is just playing mind games with me that I am determined to win.  I sometimes have to wait 3 or 4 days (or longer) to see the scale give up and let go of the number.

WORD OF THE DAY:  WARFARE

New Day - Up the water intake

I probably drink more water than the average Joe, but I need to be a bit more consistent.  Yesterday was the 4th of July.  I spent a great deal of time outside, which means I was sweating more than if I had been indoors all day.  The result is that my body is now retaining water, and the scale is up 2 pounds.  But I must cognitively know and accept that this is not a "true" weight gain.  I must persevere.  I love the definition that thefreedictionary.com gives for persevere - remain constant to a purpose.

If I increase my water intake today, my prediction is that the 2 pounds will be gone tomorrow plus a few more ounces.

I am having Kellogg's Special K protein plus cereal with soy milk for breakfast.  I like this particular Kellogg's cereal because it has 10 grams of protein and meets my minimum standard for fiber at 5 grams per serving.

For me fiber is a higher priority than whole wheat.  I do eat old fashioned oats, steel cut oats, and other "whole grains"; however, I don't seek out "wheat".  A number of years ago, my husband and I read Eat Right 4 Your Type  by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo.  According to his book, an O positive blood type metabolism does not work as efficiently with too much wheat.  Right after that, I started eating more meat (which D'Adamo recommends for O positive) and I stopped stuffing wheat down my gullet which was all the rage at the time.  Within 6 weeks I had lost 17 pounds.

I encourage everyone to listen to your own body and filter all the information out there.  Just because the morning news expert recommends something, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is perfect information for you.

My husband can eat far more wheat than I can, but his body reacts to it in a completely different way (i.e. no obvious weight gain).  It is important for me to understand that it is okay that my husband can eat different things than I can.  We are different in other ways as well.  He sometimes says that I have a bionic nose, because I can smell things that he cannot.  It appears to us that this may be one of the reasons why I don't always like a lot of different spices on or in certain foods.  I think they overwelm my senses.  He, on the other hand, is a lover of many spices and large quantities of condiments.  I call him the "condiment king".  He can practically make a meal of condiments alone!

Back to today. . . make sure I get the water I need, exercise, and remain constant to my purpose.

Word for today:  PERSEVERE

Losses and gains

I started this blog primarily for myself and to reflect and flesh out my thoughts, but I also started it to share thoughts that might help someone else in some small way. 

Truly I am an optimist otherwise I would not have survived my life to date as it has been a bumpy ride to say the least.  I must share some of the "stuff" so that those who might feel that I "don't understand" will know that I do.  I will try to be measured as to how much I reveal and how soon.

Today, I will share this with you.  I have lost a net of 20 pounds since January 1, 2009.  The net consists of a total loss of 40 pounds with a regain of 20.  I found myself not dealing with the stress of school this past fall.  Between October 2010 and May 2011, I managed to gain  20 pounds.  Fall semester was stressful in one way and the spring semester was stressful in a different way.  Either way, I gained weight.

 But I will prevail!  You will prevail!

Some people have said to me, "Don't worry, it is just the freshman 15."  Well, the fact is that I am not a freshman.  Technically, I have been a senior for 25 years, though this program classified me as a junior this past year.  I started back to school in January of 2009 and intentionally lost weight slowly but steadily until October 2010.

There were lessons for me about life between October 2010 and May 2011.  Were the primary lessons directly about my weight?  Of course not!  The lessons were mostly about people and secondarily about handling stress in a proactive way instead of a reactive way .  Haven't you heard that old saying that life would be great if we didn't have to deal with all the people?  But deal with people we must!

I am determined to learn the lessons that have been provided for me and move into the future as a wiser and more in-sync-with-my-life person.

Word of the day:  Prevail

Day 17,856 Losing weight

Day 17,856 marks how many days I have been on this earth to date.  I used this web site, timeanddate.com , to do the calculation for me. .  . I love the internet!  Today I start anew, in fact, everyday I start anew. 

My goal is to accomplish my 2012 plan.  I will finish my Bachelor's degree in 2012.  I will be 50 pounds lighter no later than 2012, and I will be a wonderful 50 year old.

Today, I woke up and could hardly move; my left hip was stiff.  The good news is that the stiffness is due to DANCING with my husband last night.  We didn't plan on doing that, but my husband, who is not Mr. impromptu, indulged me.  He loves me! 

We actually started the evening by stopping by Old City Java to see the Knoxville debut of artist Annie Rochelle.  Then we stopped by The Old City Wine Bar to see owner Ray Adelman.  On the way back to the car, we stopped by NV Night Club, where we found out that NV stands for "envy", duh!  We sat outside for about 30 minutes, before I had to find the restroom, whereupon, I discovered the indoor dance floor.  We danced for about 45 minutes!

So the point of all of this is that I was DOWN A POUND this morning!!

For better or for worse, I may blog in a stream of consciousness kind of way.  Just hang in there with me!